I recently started a personal prayer challenge to pray morning, noon, and night over our new house. 

The spark for this devotion came from a sermon reminding me in a fresh way — God wants to speak to me. Our prayers matter. And I want to seek Him with all I’ve got.

To help me in this quest, I set reminders to pop up on my phone three times each day.

If I’m being honest, sometimes I see the notification and feel a little dread in my chest. Not because I don’t want to pray, not because I’m over this challenge, but because I’m not always in a space to get in my feels and lift up everything I really want to in prayer.

My writerly self wants to share heartfelt, well-crafted, personal prayers covering every inch of our house. But things are almost always hustling and bustling at the office come my noon-time reminder. It’s not always possible for me to get on my knees or get in the weeds for every facet of our house.

So, to keep marching forward and give God the parts of my heart I’m able in those moments, I whisper a sentence or two under my breath. I trust that those sentences and incomplete words are enough.

Throughout these past few months, this is what I’ve noticed:

Sometimes I leave the prayer midday and don’t feel resolution or an instant boost of hope or faith, but there’s a deep knowing that I’m heard. That Holy Spirit is translating my words and sighs to the Father. That Jesus is advocating on my behalf. And that gives me the strength to go on. 

I believe God’s not expecting some kind of “spiritual genius” from me. I believe He meets me right where I am in whatever confusion, stress, or what ifs I’m facing, and He knows the desires of my heart. I believe He seeks me more than I could ever seek Him. That every time I turn my attention, focus, thoughts to Him, He is already with me, waiting to love me, waiting to comfort me. He accepts my worship as I am, where I am. 

Sometimes I feel like my prayers aren’t complete because they don’t feel well-spoken or succinct or resolved or as deep as I usually feel. I’m learning that my prayers aren’t heard or answered based on how I feel. They are heard and answered based on the King of Kings, the God who hears. He can see past what feels to me like an incomplete sentence or a muttered phrase without a conclusion. He gets it. He knows. And somehow He thinks I’m still the most precious thing in the world—even when I don’t feel that way. 

Thank goodness Jesus doesn’t love us based on how we feel or perform—when we have nothing, He loves. When we start a sentence but don’t finish it, He listens. He lets us be who we are, as we are, where we are without judgment. He just loves—wholly and fully. How blessed are we? 

He knows. He loves. And I thank Him for love, love, loving us always. Even when we don’t know what to say. 

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P.S. I’m Done Talking About This and My Go-To Prayers These Days.

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